Navigating suggestive comments, like “Come sit on my face,” can be difficult and calls for a thought-out approach. One is required to respond in a way that is light or serious in tone but still does not move away from how comfortable one is and what boundaries are projected. Here are some tips on how to respond to come-sit-on-my-face:
Assess the Context
You want to consider the context in which the comment was made: Was it a playful remark among friends or quite a serious proposition? Knowing this will help you to compose the best possible reply. For example, if this is a joke with friends, then perhaps a more lighthearted response would be in order. If it is a serious suggestion and one that makes you feel very uncomfortable, the response would need to be a little tighter.
Setting Boundaries
If the comment makes you uncomfortable, then boundaries are to be set. You can state, “I don’t find that kind of comment appropriate, and I am not okay with it.” The response is fairly firm; to say the least, it takes you out of your comfort zone, but at the same time doesn’t give a blind alley for other misinterpretations. Setting limits is the key to showing respect in every response.
Deflection Using Humor
If you feel comfortable enough, responding with humor will diffuse the situation a bit but still convey the message of disinterest. For example, you might say, “I think I’ll stand, thanks!” or “I like my seating arrangements a little more traditional.” Humor would reduce the awkwardness and help in keeping things friendly without actually performing the suggestion.
Redirect the Conversation
Another great way to respond effectively is to redirect the conversation to a neutral topic at hand. For instance, responding, “How about we just sit and chat instead?” That way, the comment is recognized and at the same time, it has taken its focus out of that comment. It is going to give you a more comfortable interaction.
Be Honest About Your Feelings
If you’re comfortable, it’s perfectly alright to be honest about your feelings. You might say, “I like your sense of humor, but that isn’t my thing.” This kind of response is direct but non-confrontational, so you’re still responding to the joke while communicating your feelings. Honesty will open communication and may even clarify your boundaries.
Use Sarcasm Lightly
If you want to maintain that playful mood, pass on light sarcasm to tone the atmosphere. You can always say something like, “Only if you’re a cloud!” The response is dumb but gives them a perception that you are not interested.
Ignore the Comment
In some cases, the best response would be not to reply. If the person makes a comment and it creeps you out, more often replying to that comment would only make matters worse or get you into “minor trouble.” It is a valid option to carry on with life. That helps you stay cool and not enter unwanted arguments.
Seek Support if Necessary
If you find that such comments are frequent or make you feel uncomfortable, consider turning for support to friends or colleagues. Sharing your experiences will let you gain perspective and know the best way to pass through all that in the future. It’s important to feel empowered and supported in your interactions.
Propose a Different Joke
If you feel that the comment was intended to be funny, make an offer of a different joke with no sexual innuendos. You can say something in response like, “Ha! We try another joke that doesn’t make it awkward for anybody?” Now you’ve acknowledged the joke with good humor and inserted something more crossing-line-in-the-sand-ish with a more fitting alternative.
Teach Consent
If circumstances allow, you could take the opportunity to share some education about why it’s important to get consent. Maybe you say, “Hey, you probably didn’t realize it, but those kinds of comments treat people like objects and make them feel disrespected. It’s important to get consent before you make any sexual comments.” This response intends to raise awareness and encourage a culture of respect.
Transition into a Different Topic
If you think that the conversation has turned embarrassing, you might well suggest a new topic altogether. For instance, you might say, “Yikes, let’s talk about something else! How about that game last night?” This is one way the two of you can drive the conversation in a more positive direction without immediately focusing on the suggestive comment.
