Laughs and Jokes

30 FUNNY THINGS TO SAY TO SOMEONE GETTING A COLONOSCOPY

Published

3 months ago

November 29, 2024

Medical procedures do not necessarily need to be painfully serious, especially when dealing with something as intimidating as a colonoscopy. Adding a little humor to the situation helps in breaking the tension. Here are some funny tips you can say while someone is having a colonoscopy, and how to deliver them.

Table of Contents

Know Your Audience

Know the person’s sense of humor. Everybody may not take a light-hearted joke in their favor. Some might just prefer a more serious approach. Always read the mood and comfort level of the people around you before you joke about something.

Example: If they are already cracking jokes themselves, that will already be a good indication that they are receptive to humor.

Timing is everything

The time when to be funny. The best times are usually before the procedure, when people are at their most nervous, or afterward when some of that tension has dissipated a bit. Avoid joking during the actual procedure since this can catch medical staff off guard, or even the patient themselves.

Example: Just before they get in, you could say, “You know, I hear this is the only time you can legally get a tube up your backside!”

Light-hearted

Keep light in tone, with no offense or crudity. What you’re aiming for is getting them to laugh, not worsening their feelings about whatever’s at hand.

Example: “Oh, don’t you worry about it; it’s just a little ‘exploration’—like a treasure hunt, without the gold!”

Wordplay and Puns

They can be very effective, simply because they often are unexpected and can make one laugh. Clever wordplay related to the procedure might lighten up the atmosphere.

Example: “What kind of camera do they use to do colonoscopies?” “GoPro-best!”

Share Personal Stories

If you’ve had a colonoscopy yourself, well, here you can create a funny moment by relating your own experiences to share. Not only does it provide comic relief, but also reassures that person that he is not alone in this experience.

Example: “When I had mine, I told the doctor to keep an eye out for my lost dignity. I think he found it!”

Inject pop culture references

Help the jokes resonate by using movie references, TV show references, or current events. This can also help take the attention away from what’s worrying the person.

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“You know, Doc, just remember, you’re boldly going where no man has gone before—Star Trek style!”

Use Self-Deprecation

At this point, self-deprecating humor works wonders. It shows that you are not going to appear too big for your britches and that you can understand what it is about them that is making them so uncomfortable.

Example: “I’m just here for the snacks afterward. Hopefully, they have more to munch on than broth!”

Light Sarcasm

Perhaps a touch of sarcasm might lighten things up, but be very cautious that it doesn’t sound mean.

Example: “I just can’t wait to see the pictures! Hope they will be better than what I took during my last holidays!”

Keep It Short and Sweet

This may cause the impact of long-winded jokes to be lost, especially in a medical setting. Keeping your sense of humor short will help the joke strike the right cord without dragging on.

Example: “So are we there yet? Just checking!”

Follow-up Support

After the humor, make sure that you throw some emotional support at them; let them know you are there for them and everything will be all right. This balance of humor and support is what brings comfort to a person.

Tips to Delivering Humor

Know Your Audience: Ensure that the person that you are joking with has a sense of humor about a medical situation. Some people might not be that appreciative of jokes at times when they are vulnerable.
Timing is everything: Before and after a procedure; basically, when nerves are high or when everybody is relieved. Avoid in-between times; it distracts the staff working on you.
Be Light-hearted: The tone should be light and nothing that would leave an impression to be offensive or crude. One is aiming to make a person laugh, not to make one uncomfortable.
Use Puns and Wordplay: Especially puns concerning the procedure have a special merit. They are almost unexpected, and in most cases, they draw out original laughter.
Share Personal Stories: If you have had a colonoscopy, share some of the funny things you may have said or done in your colonoscopy to make a relatable moment.
Adding some humor to it helps pop the balloon of some of that anxiety when it comes to receiving a colonoscopy, making it at least a little more bearable for all parties involved.

Funny-things-to-say-to-someone-getting-a-colonoscopy:

“Take it easy, Doc. You’re boldly going where no man has gone before!”
“Find Amelia Earhart yet?”
“Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!”
“If your hand doesn’t fit, you must quit!”
“Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is not up there?”
“What kind of camera do doctors use for colonoscopies? GoPro-bes!”
“I better not find a video of this on the internet.”
“Keep your eyes open for my head; my wife says that’s where I keep it.”
“Any small change you find is mine.”
“Anything past the elbow and you’re buying dinner.”
“So, are we there yet?”
**”I hope you brought snacks for the journey!”
“Just remember, it’s not a race; take your time!”
“This is the only time I can legally say I’m getting a tube up my backside!”
“I hope you’re not planning on taking any selfies in there!”
“Is this where I sign up for the ‘Exploratory Adventures’ club?”
“Just think of it as an intense roller coaster ride!”
“If you find any lost socks, they’re mine!”
“I hope you have a good sense of direction!”
“Can you at least take a picture for my Instagram?”
“I hear the view is amazing from down there!”
“I’m just here for the post-op snacks!”
“If you see my dignity, please send it back!”
“I hope my insurance covers this ‘deep dive’!
“Just remember, it’s all in the name of health!”
“I hope you’re not planning on charging me for the scenic route!”
“Can I get a survey from this trip?”
“I hope you brought a flashlight; it’s dark in there!”
“Just think of it as an invasive spa treatment!”
“I hope you’re ready for the adventure of a lifetime!”

Conclusion:

These funny comments can help to break the ice and put a smile on someone’s face before taking a colonoscopy. One should be aware of a person’s mood and comfort level while making these jokes. One can use the tips mentioned above.

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Hareem J

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Hey there! I'm Hareem, a psychology pro and a Passionate Blogger who's obsessed with understanding how we connect, communicate, and create meaning through our messages.

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